When it comes to dating, flirting is a large part of getting dates and letting others know you're interested in them. If done right you can attract almost any kind of person you want. Most human communication is done not through words but through body language. People are intrigued and interested in others who can flirt effectively and appropriately. Here's some helpful tips on how to flirt with women
1. Eye Contact
Eye contact (aka "eye flirting") is the biggest and most effective type of flirting. Though. it needs to be done correctly and should be based on the type of person you are making contact with. There's several types of eye contact: the quick glance, the long look and what I call the sly eye. You'll want to look just long enough to get someone's attention from across the room but beware if they are not interested do not continue to eye flirt with them as it will make them uncomfortable and make you seem creepy.
Some people are naturally shy and won't be sure if you are interested in them or think you are just looking at them. Follow up with a smile after you catch their glance to ensure they get your message. This is a great non-verbal tool for making an conversational invite.
2. Mirroring Body Language
Mirroring is also a very effective method. When you're talking with another person you have interest in, mirror their body language after awhile. This builds unconscious social bonds and let the person know you like them without actually telling them. Don't do it in way to seem as if you're mocking them; start out with small mirroring movements such as touching your face when they do. (Touching the face and adjust hair is a good sign) If interest is mutual they should begin to mirror your body movements also.
3. Body Language
There are many aspects to flirting by using body language but some of the most common and effective types of flirting are posture and physical distance.
When someone is flirting with you they tend to lean in toward you or want to decrease the space between you and them. If the other person is comfortable and likes you they will do the same. In short physical distance is a type of subtle flirting. Be careful though, failing to recognize signs of disinterest is threatening and will make for bad situation if you're leaning into someone who is put off by you.
Posture is also important. If you're sitting at a table the other person will be sitting upright, leaning toward you, and pointing their legs or feet toward you, etc... This body language means you have their attention and they probably like you.
Eye contact and body language are very powerful and effective ways of flirting when used appropriately on others who are mutually interested in you.
If all else fails use humor. Women love a man with a sense of humor and want to be with someone who can make them laugh.
Use it appropriately and you'll find yourself going out on more dates over time.
Thursday
Saturday
The Evolution of Men
To understand how to get women for dates you have to understand some things about yourself. After all you can't change yourself if you don't recognize some things about yourself first.
A lot of guys are going about the dating game in completely the wrong way. Though why are they doing it wrong and where? It's not their fault as their behavior is actually embedded into them but they are capable of changing with the right information.
(Disclaimer: The following is based off of evolutionary psychology and biology and I am merely reporting findings and studies. Skip to the bottom if history bores you)
Thousands of years ago men went out to hunt and were regarded as the hunters in tribes. Women usually stayed in or near the village or settlement with each other. During these hunts men usually did not talk with eachother very much (I personally disagree with this) and the man who was the most skilled at hunting got the most respect from other men in the tribe and was eventually regarded as the dominant alpha male.
This alpha male status is something that stuck with males throughout time and 30,000 years later some men are still regarded as alpha males in their social circles. Instead of getting the most animals on the hunt they make the most money among their social group. This has been partially ingrained in our DNA as successful traits are passed on throughout generations. Alpha males are also reinforced through socialization.
Today's men are very well equipped for getting resources and becoming alpha males but this is an outdated trait humans have evolved since the caveman days (putting it very simply)
Many ways that worked in attracting women back in cave man days do not work today because women have evolved too. If you act like a caveman be prepared to be treated like a caveman.
Now with all that said women seek out intimacy (both kinds of intimacy) before getting into a relationship with men. Many men have not been shown or taught how to be intimate but only know how to be dominant or competitive and many are clueless of how to open up and be emotionally intimate. (I partially agree with this but it has to be based on the individual)
Body language is a big part of our ingrained programming (this programming comes from nature and nurture) A lot of men have what I call defensive body language or try to communicate their dominance to other men through the way they carry themselves on the street (this is especially true for younger men) Chests will puff out, stare downs will be given, etc.. Essentially what is going on is men are"sizing up the competition" (notice the competition part, even though there are more women on earth than their are men)
This isn't necessary to do. Other men don't affect your life like they used to during caveman times, there are more people on the planet now and more opportunities exist to find a great mate.
Women will wonder why you look so uptight or defensive in social spaces. Relax and have open body language. Look like your in a freindly, approachable state. Not like your out hunting in the wilds of Africa and fending off "competition." You are your own competition. Women want a man who is well rounded and will make them feel nurtured.
Being an alpha male may not get you as far as you think in terms of relationships.
In short our primal ways still exist today but have been modified for modern times. If you haven't modified yours you may want to get up to speed. I'll tell you more how next time.
A lot of guys are going about the dating game in completely the wrong way. Though why are they doing it wrong and where? It's not their fault as their behavior is actually embedded into them but they are capable of changing with the right information.
(Disclaimer: The following is based off of evolutionary psychology and biology and I am merely reporting findings and studies. Skip to the bottom if history bores you)
Thousands of years ago men went out to hunt and were regarded as the hunters in tribes. Women usually stayed in or near the village or settlement with each other. During these hunts men usually did not talk with eachother very much (I personally disagree with this) and the man who was the most skilled at hunting got the most respect from other men in the tribe and was eventually regarded as the dominant alpha male.
This alpha male status is something that stuck with males throughout time and 30,000 years later some men are still regarded as alpha males in their social circles. Instead of getting the most animals on the hunt they make the most money among their social group. This has been partially ingrained in our DNA as successful traits are passed on throughout generations. Alpha males are also reinforced through socialization.
Today's men are very well equipped for getting resources and becoming alpha males but this is an outdated trait humans have evolved since the caveman days (putting it very simply)
Many ways that worked in attracting women back in cave man days do not work today because women have evolved too. If you act like a caveman be prepared to be treated like a caveman.
Now with all that said women seek out intimacy (both kinds of intimacy) before getting into a relationship with men. Many men have not been shown or taught how to be intimate but only know how to be dominant or competitive and many are clueless of how to open up and be emotionally intimate. (I partially agree with this but it has to be based on the individual)
Body language is a big part of our ingrained programming (this programming comes from nature and nurture) A lot of men have what I call defensive body language or try to communicate their dominance to other men through the way they carry themselves on the street (this is especially true for younger men) Chests will puff out, stare downs will be given, etc.. Essentially what is going on is men are"sizing up the competition" (notice the competition part, even though there are more women on earth than their are men)
This isn't necessary to do. Other men don't affect your life like they used to during caveman times, there are more people on the planet now and more opportunities exist to find a great mate.
Women will wonder why you look so uptight or defensive in social spaces. Relax and have open body language. Look like your in a freindly, approachable state. Not like your out hunting in the wilds of Africa and fending off "competition." You are your own competition. Women want a man who is well rounded and will make them feel nurtured.
Being an alpha male may not get you as far as you think in terms of relationships.
In short our primal ways still exist today but have been modified for modern times. If you haven't modified yours you may want to get up to speed. I'll tell you more how next time.
Sunday
Attracting Women- 3 Tips for long Term Success
This is the age old quest men have been setting out on ever since the beginning of time. Men have been been practicing pick up lines, reading up on "seduction" tricks, and trying to impress women in countless ways. Though, the way to attract women is not through techniques or tricks, it's through something you've had ever since you were born and using it will not only attract women but it will make many fall in love with you. Here's three ways to win the women you want.
1. Be Yourself
This is the most important takeaway point from this article. Always be yourself as acting like someone else or trying to impress women with a false personality, trying to sound more successful will only get you in trouble. Think about it, if your are genuinely yourself than you are going to attract women who are a good fit for you. Trying to be someone else is not only misleading but it can send weird vibes to other women. Many will pick up on when you are putting on a false front- and it send a red flag up because it seems like your are hiding something. If you think women won't like you for who you are mistaken, certain types of women will like you for who you are and those are the women you want to attract. The other women who don't like you for you aren't what you are looking for in a relationship.
2. Substance over Flash
Many women are initially attracted to men with money. Though, it doesn't matter if the guy is a millionaire because if the guy is a complete jerk or has no personality, doesn't make her feel special, etc... she won't be sticking around with him for long. Women want to feel special, they want to know that you care about them- genuinely care about them, and most of all they want emotional intimacy. It may surprise you but men also want emotional intimacy almost as much as women do. Unfortunately, many men don't know how to show it do to socialization. Men who flash cash may get women but most of those women won't stick around if there is no substance beyond the bank account. Though, it does help to have a stable source of income.
3. Be Socially Adaptable
If your social skills are sub par then brush up on them. You need to be comfortable speaking to people as a prerequisite to speaking with women. Women will find shy guys cute and endearing but if you're not speaking enough she might think you're not interested or might get bored.
On the other end of the spectrum if you're nervous and are speaking too much she might get scared away with too much information.
You need to know how to break the ice without delivering a worn out, idiotic pick up line, how to answer her questions appropriately and directly without sounding evasive and just how to show her what kind of person you are during the conversation. Be yourself, but brush up on your social skills if you're lacking them.
You want to be able to gauge someone's body language because body language makes up the majority of human communication.
If you just be yourself, show her you're about less flash and more substance and have appropriate social skills you'll attract a great woman for the long term relationship. (Yes, I used the word LTR for all the commitaphobes to get over their fear)
1. Be Yourself
This is the most important takeaway point from this article. Always be yourself as acting like someone else or trying to impress women with a false personality, trying to sound more successful will only get you in trouble. Think about it, if your are genuinely yourself than you are going to attract women who are a good fit for you. Trying to be someone else is not only misleading but it can send weird vibes to other women. Many will pick up on when you are putting on a false front- and it send a red flag up because it seems like your are hiding something. If you think women won't like you for who you are mistaken, certain types of women will like you for who you are and those are the women you want to attract. The other women who don't like you for you aren't what you are looking for in a relationship.
2. Substance over Flash
Many women are initially attracted to men with money. Though, it doesn't matter if the guy is a millionaire because if the guy is a complete jerk or has no personality, doesn't make her feel special, etc... she won't be sticking around with him for long. Women want to feel special, they want to know that you care about them- genuinely care about them, and most of all they want emotional intimacy. It may surprise you but men also want emotional intimacy almost as much as women do. Unfortunately, many men don't know how to show it do to socialization. Men who flash cash may get women but most of those women won't stick around if there is no substance beyond the bank account. Though, it does help to have a stable source of income.
3. Be Socially Adaptable
If your social skills are sub par then brush up on them. You need to be comfortable speaking to people as a prerequisite to speaking with women. Women will find shy guys cute and endearing but if you're not speaking enough she might think you're not interested or might get bored.
On the other end of the spectrum if you're nervous and are speaking too much she might get scared away with too much information.
You need to know how to break the ice without delivering a worn out, idiotic pick up line, how to answer her questions appropriately and directly without sounding evasive and just how to show her what kind of person you are during the conversation. Be yourself, but brush up on your social skills if you're lacking them.
You want to be able to gauge someone's body language because body language makes up the majority of human communication.
If you just be yourself, show her you're about less flash and more substance and have appropriate social skills you'll attract a great woman for the long term relationship. (Yes, I used the word LTR for all the commitaphobes to get over their fear)
The Basics of Women
So you want to know about women. Women can seem complex and often are just like anyone else, even some men can be complex. But there are fundamentals about women that you need to consider before you hit the dating scene.
The first thing you need to know about women is no two women are the same. They may act similar, they may look similar but they aren't similar. Don't apply a one size fits all kind of "techniques" to women because it will not work. Just be yourself around them, it's OK to be nervous but just be yourself.
You'd be surprised at how such common sense advice gets thrown to the wayside but it is so important to just be yourself. You'll find a women will like you for you. Really you will.
The second thing about women is women have a great sense of smell and are attracted to certain types of male scents. It seems bizarre to many men but it actually has been studied that a woman's sense of smell is more powerful than a man's. This doesn't mean walk into a bar smelling like a gym locker room or the elephant pen at a zoo, this simply means that the type of smell you give off (your natural body scent) is largely out of your hands on how women respond to it. This is a small part of the mate choosing process but it still plays an important role.
This is a subconscious way they choose their dates as it is linked back to when we were primates swinging from trees thousands of years ago. Women use their sense of smell to sniff out bad mates. Women select mates based on health and their well being, you not only need to look healthy and be (somewhat) in shape but you need to actually be physically healthy so they can have healthy offspring. Pheromones and hormones play a very important role in dating, evolution is truly amazing :)
Finally, women are constantly thinking about multiple things at the same time when you are talking to them- and they are thinking things about you. Women are analyzing you when you are speaking to them to ensure you are telling them the truth and to confirm you are who they think you are. Even though they may seem in a relaxed state their guard is still up. They want to be absolutely sure they are making the right choice. "He seems like a nice guy but is he really?" "Is that mole on his neck?" "Why is he looking around, is he looking at another woman?"
They have the right to have their guard partially up during your date, many women have been burned by jerks or have bad dating experiences. They only have their experience to go on, that's all they know. Guys have been burned also by bad dates.
With that said, sometimes though women over-analyze situations and things you say in your conversation so be prepared as they may go into analyze overdrive and will only realize it later. If you're giving off weird vibes such as shifty eyes or it seems like you're lying (and you will be caught in a lie eventually), if you are a pick up artist, or treat a waitress poorly this is not only very unattractive it is downright douche bag behavior to be blunt. Expect the date to end abruptly or early.
In summary, be yourself and don't lie (you won't need to keep up with a lie) will be able attract women who are a good fit for you. Remember these very fundamental ways of women and you should be alright.
The first thing you need to know about women is no two women are the same. They may act similar, they may look similar but they aren't similar. Don't apply a one size fits all kind of "techniques" to women because it will not work. Just be yourself around them, it's OK to be nervous but just be yourself.
You'd be surprised at how such common sense advice gets thrown to the wayside but it is so important to just be yourself. You'll find a women will like you for you. Really you will.
The second thing about women is women have a great sense of smell and are attracted to certain types of male scents. It seems bizarre to many men but it actually has been studied that a woman's sense of smell is more powerful than a man's. This doesn't mean walk into a bar smelling like a gym locker room or the elephant pen at a zoo, this simply means that the type of smell you give off (your natural body scent) is largely out of your hands on how women respond to it. This is a small part of the mate choosing process but it still plays an important role.
This is a subconscious way they choose their dates as it is linked back to when we were primates swinging from trees thousands of years ago. Women use their sense of smell to sniff out bad mates. Women select mates based on health and their well being, you not only need to look healthy and be (somewhat) in shape but you need to actually be physically healthy so they can have healthy offspring. Pheromones and hormones play a very important role in dating, evolution is truly amazing :)
Finally, women are constantly thinking about multiple things at the same time when you are talking to them- and they are thinking things about you. Women are analyzing you when you are speaking to them to ensure you are telling them the truth and to confirm you are who they think you are. Even though they may seem in a relaxed state their guard is still up. They want to be absolutely sure they are making the right choice. "He seems like a nice guy but is he really?" "Is that mole on his neck?" "Why is he looking around, is he looking at another woman?"
They have the right to have their guard partially up during your date, many women have been burned by jerks or have bad dating experiences. They only have their experience to go on, that's all they know. Guys have been burned also by bad dates.
With that said, sometimes though women over-analyze situations and things you say in your conversation so be prepared as they may go into analyze overdrive and will only realize it later. If you're giving off weird vibes such as shifty eyes or it seems like you're lying (and you will be caught in a lie eventually), if you are a pick up artist, or treat a waitress poorly this is not only very unattractive it is downright douche bag behavior to be blunt. Expect the date to end abruptly or early.
In summary, be yourself and don't lie (you won't need to keep up with a lie) will be able attract women who are a good fit for you. Remember these very fundamental ways of women and you should be alright.
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