Saturday

The Evolution of Men

To understand how to get women for dates you have to understand some things about yourself. After all you can't change yourself if you don't recognize some things about yourself first.

A lot of guys are going about the dating game in completely the wrong way. Though why are they doing it wrong and where? It's not their fault as their behavior is actually embedded into them but they are capable of changing with the right information.

(Disclaimer: The following is based off of evolutionary psychology and biology and I am merely reporting findings and studies. Skip to the bottom if history bores you)

Thousands of years ago men went out to hunt and were regarded as the hunters in tribes. Women usually stayed in or near the village or settlement with each other. During these hunts men usually did not talk with eachother very much (I personally disagree with this) and the man who was the most skilled at hunting got the most respect from other men in the tribe and was eventually regarded as the dominant alpha male.

This alpha male status is something that stuck with males throughout time and 30,000 years later some men are still regarded as alpha males in their social circles. Instead of getting the most animals on the hunt they make the most money among their social group. This has been partially ingrained in our DNA as successful traits are passed on throughout generations. Alpha males are also reinforced through socialization.

Today's men are very well equipped for getting resources and becoming alpha males but this is an outdated trait humans have evolved since the caveman days (putting it very simply)

Many ways that worked in attracting women back in cave man days do not work today because women have evolved too. If you act like a caveman be prepared to be treated like a caveman.

Now with all that said women seek out intimacy (both kinds of intimacy) before getting into a relationship with men. Many men have not been shown or taught how to be intimate but only know how to be dominant or competitive and many are clueless of how to open up and be emotionally intimate. (I partially agree with this but it has to be based on the individual)

Body language is a big part of our ingrained programming (this programming comes from nature and nurture) A lot of men have what I call defensive body language or try to communicate their dominance to other men through the way they carry themselves on the street (this is especially true for younger men) Chests will puff out, stare downs will be given, etc.. Essentially what is going on is men are"sizing up the competition" (notice the competition part, even though there are more women on earth than their are men)

This isn't necessary to do. Other men don't affect your life like they used to during caveman times, there are more people on the planet now and more opportunities exist to find a great mate.

Women will wonder why you look so uptight or defensive in social spaces. Relax and have open body language. Look like your in a freindly, approachable state. Not like your out hunting in the wilds of Africa and fending off "competition." You are your own competition. Women want a man who is well rounded and will make them feel nurtured.

Being an alpha male may not get you as far as you think in terms of relationships.

In short our primal ways still exist today but have been modified for modern times. If you haven't modified yours you may want to get up to speed. I'll tell you more how next time.

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