The Evolution of Men

To understand how to get women for dates you have to understand some things about yourself. After all you can't change yourself if you don't recognize some things about yourself first.

A lot of guys are going about the dating game in completely the wrong way. Though why are they doing it wrong and where? It's not their fault as their behavior is actually embedded into them but they are capable of changing with the right information.

(Disclaimer: The following is based off of evolutionary psychology and biology and I am merely reporting findings and studies. Skip to the bottom if history bores you)

Thousands of years ago men went out to hunt and were regarded as the hunters in tribes. Women usually stayed in or near the village or settlement with each other. During these hunts men usually did not talk with eachother very much (I personally disagree with this) and the man who was the most skilled at hunting got the most respect from other men in the tribe and was eventually regarded as the dominant alpha male.

This alpha male status is something that stuck with males throughout time and 30,000 years later some men are still regarded as alpha males in their social circles. Instead of getting the most animals on the hunt they make the most money among their social group. This has been partially ingrained in our DNA as successful traits are passed on throughout generations. Alpha males are also reinforced through socialization.

Today's men are very well equipped for getting resources and becoming alpha males but this is an outdated trait humans have evolved since the caveman days (putting it very simply)

Many ways that worked in attracting women back in cave man days do not work today because women have evolved too. If you act like a caveman be prepared to be treated like a caveman.

Now with all that said women seek out intimacy (both kinds of intimacy) before getting into a relationship with men. Many men have not been shown or taught how to be intimate but only know how to be dominant or competitive and many are clueless of how to open up and be emotionally intimate. (I partially agree with this but it has to be based on the individual)

Body language is a big part of our ingrained programming (this programming comes from nature and nurture) A lot of men have what I call defensive body language or try to communicate their dominance to other men through the way they carry themselves on the street (this is especially true for younger men) Chests will puff out, stare downs will be given, etc.. Essentially what is going on is men are"sizing up the competition" (notice the competition part, even though there are more women on earth than their are men)

This isn't necessary to do. Other men don't affect your life like they used to during caveman times, there are more people on the planet now and more opportunities exist to find a great mate.

Women will wonder why you look so uptight or defensive in social spaces. Relax and have open body language. Look like your in a freindly, approachable state. Not like your out hunting in the wilds of Africa and fending off "competition." You are your own competition. Women want a man who is well rounded and will make them feel nurtured.

Being an alpha male may not get you as far as you think in terms of relationships.

In short our primal ways still exist today but have been modified for modern times. If you haven't modified yours you may want to get up to speed. I'll tell you more how next time.

The Basics of Women

So you want to know about women. Women can seem complex and often are just like anyone else, even some men can be complex. But there are fundamentals about women that you need to consider before you hit the dating scene.

The first thing you need to know about women is no two women are the same. They may act similar, they may look similar but they aren't similar. Don't apply a one size fits all kind of "techniques" to women because it will not work. Just be yourself around them, it's OK to be nervous but just be yourself.

You'd be surprised at how such common sense advice gets thrown to the wayside but it is so important to just be yourself. You'll find a women will like you for you. Really you will.

The second thing about women is women have a great sense of smell and are attracted to certain types of male scents. It seems bizarre to many men but it actually has been studied that a woman's sense of smell is more powerful than a man's. This doesn't mean walk into a bar smelling like a gym locker room or the elephant pen at a zoo, this simply means that the type of smell you give off (your natural body scent) is largely out of your hands on how women respond to it. This is a small part of the mate choosing process but it still plays an important role.

This is a subconscious way they choose their dates as it is linked back to when we were primates swinging from trees thousands of years ago. Women use their sense of smell to sniff out bad mates. Women select mates based on health and their well being, you not only need to look healthy and be (somewhat) in shape but you need to actually be physically healthy so they can have healthy offspring. Pheromones and hormones play a very important role in dating, evolution is truly amazing :)

Finally, women are constantly thinking about multiple things at the same time when you are talking to them- and they are thinking things about you. Women are analyzing you when you are speaking to them to ensure you are telling them the truth and to confirm you are who they think you are. Even though they may seem in a relaxed state their guard is still up. They want to be absolutely sure they are making the right choice. "He seems like a nice guy but is he really?" "Is that mole on his neck?" "Why is he looking around, is he looking at another woman?"

They have the right to have their guard partially up during your date, many women have been burned by jerks or have bad dating experiences. They only have their experience to go on, that's all they know. Guys have been burned also by bad dates.

With that said, sometimes though women over-analyze situations and things you say in your conversation so be prepared as they may go into analyze overdrive and will only realize it later. If you're giving off weird vibes such as shifty eyes or it seems like you're lying (and you will be caught in a lie eventually), if you are a pick up artist, or treat a waitress poorly this is not only very unattractive it is downright douche bag behavior to be blunt. Expect the date to end abruptly or early.

In summary, be yourself and don't lie (you won't need to keep up with a lie) will be able attract women who are a good fit for you. Remember these very fundamental ways of women and you should be alright.