Internet Dating Advice

Internet dating site is the easiest way to find a partner in today's world. It used to be that an internet dating was taboo and people just didn't trust it or the quality of people there weren' that great to say the least. But even so, you run the same risks as if you were to actually meet the person face-to-face. Here's some few bits of internet dating advice for those looking for a compatible match.

This article was written to give advice to those who are unfamiliar to internet dating. Or maybe you've had a couple bad experiences and are wondering why you are running into "duds". My dating advice is not aimed particularly at either men or women, but looks at both sides. I am not a psychologist or therapists and all dating advice and tips are my personal thoughts found through my internet dating experiences.
So why choose online dating services rather than conventional dating?Here's a few benefits:

• Millions of people from around the world sign up for internet dating services everyday. Also there are thousands of dating sites coming online everyday. So not only can you find a person to match your needs but also a dating service built around your specific need.
  • You're in the US, you can meet someone from Australia
  • Find someone in a different state that you would enjoy visiting.
  • There are Asian dating, Jewish dating, Christian dating, adult dating, senior dating, hiking dating, dog walking dating sites and the list goes on. 

• Your search criteria can be more detailed, less compromising later.
  • What hobbies are they into?
  • What are their turn-offs?
  • What are their interests
• People tend to be more honest through correspondence. You know the true person quicker.
• You can still have an online date even if you're sick.
• It's safe because you're not in the same physical environment, at least initially.
  • You don't need to meet the person until you are totally comfortable. Never meet anybody unless you are 99% comfortable.
  • The first date or 2nd, 3rd, and 4th should be out in public.
  • Let someone know where you are going.
  • Ladies, I highly recommend you bring a friend or double-date!
  • Do not allow the person to pick you up. Provide your own transportation
  • Bring defense items - pepper spray, whistle, gps tracking device. Be careful of bringing weapons that can harm you - knife, gun, clubs...etc
  • Ladies, even if the date is going well and it's the 1st date, do not be persuaded to get into a car alone with him. If he is a predator, he'll get agitated and possibly upset. If this happens, then you should walk away now! A real gentleman will understand your fear and rather spend time with you than miss a party, concert or whatever. Just be sure to let him know prior to the date that you will not leave the initial meeting place with him unless your friend can come along.

Those are just a few reasons and each person will benefit differently based on their character and personality. The precautions would also relate to conventional dating practices and not just internet dates.So what are some of the drawbacks of internet dating?

• Are they really writing or just cut-and-pasting?
• Cameras and lighting can be manipulated to hide certain features (flaws).
• The photos in the ads maybe professionally done or retouched and not be a true reflection of the person

As with the benefits, there are other downsides to internet dating that aren't listed and will vary from person to person.So who is the best internet dating service? That's a hard question to answer because there are so many variables and there is no one best service. I say the best dating site is the one you find what you are looking for on. Luckily, most are free to join, although you will get limited functionality and features of the program. But at least you can get an idea of the types or kinds of people who have joined that particular internet dating service.

There are more and more online dating services that are specific to certain groups like - people who are in the service, Christian dating, pet lovers dating, and so on. The major dating sites will have these people as well, you'll just need to sift through the members to find out if someone shares your passions or hobbies. What it boils down to is that the more people to select from, the better your chances of finding a match.

Other people may just want a companion because they are going on a trip to another area and would like a friend or someone to show them around at that destination.

What it boils down to is - What are your needs and wants?

Some internet dating advice I can offer based on my experience that helped me find the love of my life and also general tips are listed below.

• Be honest when you communicate
• Speak from the heart, don't try to be someone you're not
• Sign-up for more than one online dating site
  • Choose a general "big name" site.
  • Search Google or Yahoo by typing "dating dogs" or "dating armed forces" or "dating Christian"...etc
  • Only pay for the sites that you feel there are more than 5 profiles that match what you are looking for, remember most are free to sign up, but you will have limited capability.
  • Stay away from free online dating sites, you get what you pay for. The more serious a person is, the higher amount of money they will pay to find quality people. That means if someone on a particular dating site has the highest level membership (Gold Member) then they are serious about finding someone. 2nd to the highest level (silver) may be those who are serious but don't have a lot of money to spend. Anything less are in my opinion "gamers" and just passing time. HOWEVER! In countries or areas that are poor and under developed, they simply can't afford to pay the membership fee. They are probably using a computer at school, a library, or a friends, so you'll need to be extra patient.
  • Stay away from ads that don't have pictures or at least make sure they will send you a picture. Some people don't want to be seen in fear of their friends colleagues or family seeing them on the internet. That's perfectly understandable, just make sure you get REAL pictures once getting to know the person.
• Send and receive many pictures, insist on casual setting pictures and not professional retouched photos
• 
  Be patient, if they live in another time zone it can be difficult to call
  • If they live in another country, get a calling card or use a webcam and microphone.
  • Since my wife didn't have a webcam, my phone bill averaged $1200 a month and I didn't know about calling cards.
  • Call your phone company and get a plan with better international rates.
  • There's more options today like VOIP (voice over IP) pc2phone that's a lot cheaper and the sound quality is much better now also.
• 
  Ladies, when you do meet, make sure it's with one or more of your friends even for the first few dates. Safety first and if the guy can't understand that, then that's a RED flag!
• Ladies, purchase some books on pick-up lines, how to seduce a woman, and those sort of things. If your correspondence contains many of what you find in a book, then the person may not be sincere. If you're tired of finding losers, this is your wake-up call to find out why.
• 
  Men, buy books on how to treat a lady. Buy books on how to seduce a woman, but only use it after you know they want to be seduced by you (later in the relationship).
• 
  Be Honest! - If you're serious and want a life-long mate this is a crucial tip of internet dating advice.
  • Be upfront, put EVERYTHING on the table. Too many unexpected surprises will kill the relationship.
  • Don't try to be what you think the other person wants. You can't put on a show forever.
  • Get a webcam so you can see and hear the real person. Sometimes you get a glimpse of their room. Is it messy? Are there naked people hung up on the wall? It can also be a lot of fun once you are closer and can be more intimate. BE CAREFUL! What you do on camera can be recorded and exposed if things don't work out.
• Make a list of things you absolutely do not like or won't compromise on. For example, you dislike it when your partner drinks too much, does drugs or things like that. Don't ask these questions straight out, but have them elaborate when they had a night out with the guys/girls. Just keep a mental note to yourself.
• Make a list of the key things you like that make you feel adored and desired.
  • You like feeling pampered by getting breakfast in bed
  • You like it when doors are opened for you
  • You like it when girls pamper you
  • You like it when girls make you feel special
  • How does the other person perceive what making someone feel special is.
• What is your definition of joy and happiness?
• 
  Be Honest! I know I keep saying that, but it's the most important thing!
• If you've been burned once too many times, do a background check on the person. You can find out if they have been married, divorced, in jail, law suits against them, and things of that nature. It costs a little money, but can save you years of heartache and disappointment. Some people may feel this is an invasion of privacy or a sign of not trusting the other person. I say it's a matter of feeling secure and if the other person can't understand that, then they are hiding something or don't care about how insecure you may be feeling. Another RED flag! Online dating has evolved to where it's common place to check on people.
• 
  Have fun on your date but pay attention to
  • Do they open doors for you
  • Do they talk negatively about too many things.
  • Are their eyes busy wandering rather than focusing on you?
  • Are there too many lines or quotes from the dating books?
• You may want to keep a score card or write down notes immediately after the date. Just make sure you destroy them all when you are exclusively seeing that person. Nobody wants to know they are being compared, but it's a good way to make sure the person has all the qualities that are truly important to you. To be on the safe side, never ever write down anything relating to sex. Technique can be learned if the person is willing to satisfy you. Talk about it, if they aren't interested in what turns you on, that's another RED flag. Lets face it, sex is an important part of a relationship. For some it isn't but for the majority, it is. It's also a two-way street. In order to get, you must give and if you give, you should get. It's that simple.
• Is this person someone you want your family and friends to meet?
• And for the last time - BE HONEST!

I hope these bits of internet dating advice helped you. I endorse it 100% and am not afraid to admit that I met my wife on through an internet dating site. It makes me feel good that out of the 200 or so other people that responded to her ad... she picked me :) I firmly believe that internet dating is the most efficient way to start a relationship and meet people.

Contributed by Russ Tanioka of helpmehowto.com

How to Flirt with Women

When it comes to dating, flirting is a large part of getting dates and letting others know you're interested in them. If done right you can attract almost any kind of person you want. Most human communication is done not through words but through body language. People are intrigued and interested in others who can flirt effectively and appropriately. Here's some helpful tips on how to flirt with women

1. Eye Contact

Eye contact (aka "eye flirting") is the biggest and most effective type of flirting. Though. it needs to be done correctly and should be based on the type of person you are making contact with. There's several types of eye contact: the quick glance, the long look and what I call the sly eye. You'll want to look just long enough to get someone's attention from across the room but beware if they are not interested do not continue to eye flirt with them as it will make them uncomfortable and make you seem creepy.

Some people are naturally shy and won't be sure if you are interested in them or think you are just looking at them. Follow up with a smile after you catch their glance to ensure they get your message. This is a great non-verbal tool for making an conversational invite.

2. Mirroring Body Language

Mirroring is also a very effective method. When you're talking with another person you have interest in, mirror their body language after awhile. This builds unconscious social bonds and let the person know you like them without actually telling them. Don't do it in way to seem as if you're mocking them; start out with small mirroring movements such as touching your face when they do. (Touching the face and adjust hair is a good sign) If interest is mutual they should begin to mirror your body movements also.

3. Body Language

There are many aspects to flirting by using body language but some of the most common and effective types of flirting are posture and physical distance.

When someone is flirting with you they tend to lean in toward you or want to decrease the space between you and them. If the other person is comfortable and likes you they will do the same. In short physical distance is a type of subtle flirting. Be careful though, failing to recognize signs of disinterest is threatening and will make for bad situation if you're leaning into someone who is put off by you.

Posture is also important. If you're sitting at a table the other person will be sitting upright, leaning toward you, and pointing their legs or feet toward you, etc... This body language means you have their attention and they probably like you.

Eye contact and body language are very powerful and effective ways of flirting when used appropriately on others who are mutually interested in you.

If all else fails use humor. Women love a man with a sense of humor and want to be with someone who can make them laugh.

Use it appropriately and you'll find yourself going out on more dates over time.

The Evolution of Men

To understand how to get women for dates you have to understand some things about yourself. After all you can't change yourself if you don't recognize some things about yourself first.

A lot of guys are going about the dating game in completely the wrong way. Though why are they doing it wrong and where? It's not their fault as their behavior is actually embedded into them but they are capable of changing with the right information.

(Disclaimer: The following is based off of evolutionary psychology and biology and I am merely reporting findings and studies. Skip to the bottom if history bores you)

Thousands of years ago men went out to hunt and were regarded as the hunters in tribes. Women usually stayed in or near the village or settlement with each other. During these hunts men usually did not talk with eachother very much (I personally disagree with this) and the man who was the most skilled at hunting got the most respect from other men in the tribe and was eventually regarded as the dominant alpha male.

This alpha male status is something that stuck with males throughout time and 30,000 years later some men are still regarded as alpha males in their social circles. Instead of getting the most animals on the hunt they make the most money among their social group. This has been partially ingrained in our DNA as successful traits are passed on throughout generations. Alpha males are also reinforced through socialization.

Today's men are very well equipped for getting resources and becoming alpha males but this is an outdated trait humans have evolved since the caveman days (putting it very simply)

Many ways that worked in attracting women back in cave man days do not work today because women have evolved too. If you act like a caveman be prepared to be treated like a caveman.

Now with all that said women seek out intimacy (both kinds of intimacy) before getting into a relationship with men. Many men have not been shown or taught how to be intimate but only know how to be dominant or competitive and many are clueless of how to open up and be emotionally intimate. (I partially agree with this but it has to be based on the individual)

Body language is a big part of our ingrained programming (this programming comes from nature and nurture) A lot of men have what I call defensive body language or try to communicate their dominance to other men through the way they carry themselves on the street (this is especially true for younger men) Chests will puff out, stare downs will be given, etc.. Essentially what is going on is men are"sizing up the competition" (notice the competition part, even though there are more women on earth than their are men)

This isn't necessary to do. Other men don't affect your life like they used to during caveman times, there are more people on the planet now and more opportunities exist to find a great mate.

Women will wonder why you look so uptight or defensive in social spaces. Relax and have open body language. Look like your in a freindly, approachable state. Not like your out hunting in the wilds of Africa and fending off "competition." You are your own competition. Women want a man who is well rounded and will make them feel nurtured.

Being an alpha male may not get you as far as you think in terms of relationships.

In short our primal ways still exist today but have been modified for modern times. If you haven't modified yours you may want to get up to speed. I'll tell you more how next time.

Attracting Women- 3 Tips for long Term Success

This is the age old quest men have been setting out on ever since the beginning of time. Men have been been practicing pick up lines, reading up on "seduction" tricks, and trying to impress women in countless ways. Though, the way to attract women is not through techniques or tricks, it's through something you've had ever since you were born and using it will not only attract women but it will make many fall in love with you. Here's three ways to win the women you want.

1. Be Yourself

This is the most important takeaway point from this article. Always be yourself as acting like someone else or trying to impress women with a false personality, trying to sound more successful will only get you in trouble. Think about it, if your are genuinely yourself than you are going to attract women who are a good fit for you. Trying to be someone else is not only misleading but it can send weird vibes to other women. Many will pick up on when you are putting on a false front- and it send a red flag up because it seems like your are hiding something. If you think women won't like you for who you are mistaken, certain types of women will like you for who you are and those are the women you want to attract. The other women who don't like you for you aren't what you are looking for in a relationship.

2. Substance over Flash

Many women are initially attracted to men with money. Though, it doesn't matter if the guy is a millionaire because if the guy is a complete jerk or has no personality, doesn't make her feel special, etc... she won't be sticking around with him for long. Women want to feel special, they want to know that you care about them- genuinely care about them, and most of all they want emotional intimacy. It may surprise you but men also want emotional intimacy almost as much as women do. Unfortunately, many men don't know how to show it do to socialization. Men who flash cash may get women but most of those women won't stick around if there is no substance beyond the bank account. Though, it does help to have a stable source of income.

3. Be Socially Adaptable

If your social skills are sub par then brush up on them. You need to be comfortable speaking to people as a prerequisite to speaking with women. Women will find shy guys cute and endearing but if you're not speaking enough she might think you're not interested or might get bored.

On the other end of the spectrum if you're nervous and are speaking too much she might get scared away with too much information.

You need to know how to break the ice without delivering a worn out, idiotic pick up line, how to answer her questions appropriately and directly without sounding evasive and just how to show her what kind of person you are during the conversation. Be yourself, but brush up on your social skills if you're lacking them.

You want to be able to gauge someone's body language because body language makes up the majority of human communication.

If you just be yourself, show her you're about less flash and more substance and have appropriate social skills you'll attract a great woman for the long term relationship. (Yes, I used the word LTR for all the commitaphobes to get over their fear)

The Basics of Women

So you want to know about women. Women can seem complex and often are just like anyone else, even some men can be complex. But there are fundamentals about women that you need to consider before you hit the dating scene.

The first thing you need to know about women is no two women are the same. They may act similar, they may look similar but they aren't similar. Don't apply a one size fits all kind of "techniques" to women because it will not work. Just be yourself around them, it's OK to be nervous but just be yourself.

You'd be surprised at how such common sense advice gets thrown to the wayside but it is so important to just be yourself. You'll find a women will like you for you. Really you will.

The second thing about women is women have a great sense of smell and are attracted to certain types of male scents. It seems bizarre to many men but it actually has been studied that a woman's sense of smell is more powerful than a man's. This doesn't mean walk into a bar smelling like a gym locker room or the elephant pen at a zoo, this simply means that the type of smell you give off (your natural body scent) is largely out of your hands on how women respond to it. This is a small part of the mate choosing process but it still plays an important role.

This is a subconscious way they choose their dates as it is linked back to when we were primates swinging from trees thousands of years ago. Women use their sense of smell to sniff out bad mates. Women select mates based on health and their well being, you not only need to look healthy and be (somewhat) in shape but you need to actually be physically healthy so they can have healthy offspring. Pheromones and hormones play a very important role in dating, evolution is truly amazing :)

Finally, women are constantly thinking about multiple things at the same time when you are talking to them- and they are thinking things about you. Women are analyzing you when you are speaking to them to ensure you are telling them the truth and to confirm you are who they think you are. Even though they may seem in a relaxed state their guard is still up. They want to be absolutely sure they are making the right choice. "He seems like a nice guy but is he really?" "Is that mole on his neck?" "Why is he looking around, is he looking at another woman?"

They have the right to have their guard partially up during your date, many women have been burned by jerks or have bad dating experiences. They only have their experience to go on, that's all they know. Guys have been burned also by bad dates.

With that said, sometimes though women over-analyze situations and things you say in your conversation so be prepared as they may go into analyze overdrive and will only realize it later. If you're giving off weird vibes such as shifty eyes or it seems like you're lying (and you will be caught in a lie eventually), if you are a pick up artist, or treat a waitress poorly this is not only very unattractive it is downright douche bag behavior to be blunt. Expect the date to end abruptly or early.

In summary, be yourself and don't lie (you won't need to keep up with a lie) will be able attract women who are a good fit for you. Remember these very fundamental ways of women and you should be alright.